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Why Does My Website Keep Timing Out After Minor Traffic Spikes

Apparently my site faints like a Victorian princess whenever more than seven people visit at once. Support keeps telling me to "upgrade my plan" which is basically code for "give us more money and maybe it will still break." I already compressed images, enabled caching, sacrificed my patience. How do I actually diagnose what is choking the server instead of just guessing. At this rate I take breaks on pin up bet ecuador while waiting for my own pages to load.